Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
