How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
