I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
