Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
