I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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