My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
