So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize