On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
