Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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