dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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