We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
