I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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