Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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