I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
