I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
