Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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