i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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