i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
