My liver just broke up with me...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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