We're facebook friends in real life
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
