i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
