I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
