her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
