good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
