decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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