Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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