you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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