I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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