You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Randomize
