She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
