i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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