4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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