you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
