you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
