I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just google imaged poop.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
