im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
