Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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