I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
