Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
