Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
