So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
