i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
