You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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