Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
