The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
