i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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