Define "chronic" masturbator.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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