I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
