If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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