Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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