I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
