I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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