I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
