4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm always down for nudity.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
