nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
