if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
