he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
