this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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