This girl is more easily done than said...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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